How Do I Start Planning a Memorial Service? Find Your Starting Point
You type the question into Google at 11pm because it's the only time the house is quiet enough to think. "How do I start planning a memorial service?" Here's the honest answer: it depends on where you're actually stuck, and that's not a dodge, it's the real reason so many checklists feel useless the moment you open them. They assume everyone starts from the same place. Nobody does.
Some people don't know whether they're planning a funeral or something else entirely. Some know the format but freeze on the theme. Some are three days from the service and just need the fastest possible plan. Some are planning their own memorial, decades early, and don't know where to even file the idea.
So instead of one more general checklist, here's a short, direct guide: what "memorial service planner" actually means, and exactly where to go next depending on what you're missing.
What "Memorial Service Planner" Actually Means
If you've searched that exact phrase, you've probably noticed it means different things depending on where you land. Sometimes it's a person, a celebrant or officiant hired to lead the service. Sometimes it's a document, a form or binder where someone records their wishes. Increasingly, especially as more families run a service without clergy or a funeral home directing every detail, it means a guided tool: something that hands you a ready-made structure instead of a blank page.
That last version exists because a memorial service doesn't come with an assigned leader the way a funeral often does. A funeral typically has clergy or a funeral director running point by default. A memorial service usually doesn't, which means someone in the family ends up filling that role, often without realizing that's what's happening until they're already in the middle of it. A memorial service planner, in the tool sense, is what fills that gap: a structure a family member can pick up and actually run with.
Where to Go, Based on Where You're Stuck
This is the part most "how to start" articles skip. Here's a direct map, built from everything we've written on this so far.
If you genuinely don't know where to begin, at all: Start with how to plan a memorial without feeling overwhelmed. It's the simplest overview in this series, built for the moment when "where do I start" feels like too big a question.
If you want the complete, step-by-step framework, start to finish: Memorial Planning Made Simple: A Complete Guide lays out the full order of decisions, from mapping the different chapters of a life to naming a point person so nothing stalls out. If you want one page that walks through everything in order, that's the one.
If you're already leaning toward a celebration of life instead of a traditional funeral, and want to understand that shift: Stop Planning a Funeral. Start Designing a Celebration of Life That Feels Like You breaks down what actually separates the two, and why a celebration of life takes more intentional planning, not less.
If you know the format and want the specific details that make it feel personal instead of generic: How to Plan a Personalized Memorial goes deep on exactly that.
If you're stuck on a theme and nothing obvious is coming to mind: How to Choose a Memorial Theme That Feels Like Them walks through five questions that tend to surface the right one fast, even when a family disagrees.
If the funeral home just called and you're in the first few hours: What to Expect When the Funeral Home Calls covers what gets asked of you immediately, and what's worth having organized in advance.
If you want one simple, meaningful keepsake idea instead of a full plan right now: The Recipe Card Memorial Planning Keepsake covers why a family recipe tends to outlast every other guest favor.
If you're planning your own memorial, well before you need to: The 48 Hours Nobody Warns You About makes the case for doing this during the good, ordinary moments in life, not the hard ones, and covers exactly what changes when a plan already exists before anyone needs it.
The One Thing Every Path Leads Back To
Whichever post matches where you're stuck, they all eventually point to the same tool: a Themed Memorial Planning Guide. Once you've got a direction, whether that's a theme, a format, or just a decision to stop waiting, a guide turns it into something you can actually open and start filling in. Each one includes:
A multi-page memorial planning guide
Invitation ideas
Memorial location suggestions
Music playlist ideas
Tribute and remembrance ideas
Guest favor inspiration
A Canva-editable, two-sided recipe card keepsake template
There's a guide for nearly every direction a life can point, from beach and lake memorials to heritage tributes like Italian and Greek, sports themes from golf to football, and tributes built specifically for military and first responder families. Most themes are $9.99, one-time, downloadable in minutes; military and first responder guides are $16.99.
Ready to stop searching and start planning? Browse the full Themed Memorial Planning Guide collection and find the one that fits.
Are you finally ready to get started on planning that memorial service you’ve been putting off? Or are you in need of a resource FAST to streamline your planning needs? Our Themed Memorial Planning Guide is just what you need.
Pick a Theme + Download Now
Frequently Asked Questions
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There's no single first step that works for everyone, because people start from different places. Some don't know whether they're planning a funeral or a celebration of life. Some know the format but not the theme. Some are days away from a service and need the fastest plan possible. The fastest way to actually start is to identify where you're stuck and go straight to the resource built for that specific point, rather than working through a generic checklist from the top.
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It can mean a person, like a celebrant leading the service, or a tool, like a planning guide that organizes the details. Since a memorial service doesn't have a default leader the way a funeral often does with clergy or a funeral director, many families use a guided tool, like a themed memorial planning guide, to fill that role instead.
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A funeral is typically a formal, tradition-bound event, often with the body present. A memorial service can happen without the body present and on a more flexible timeline. A celebration of life is a specific style of memorial built around the person's actual personality rather than tradition. We go deeper on that distinction here.
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No. While some families hire a celebrant or officiant, many plan and lead a memorial service themselves, especially with a structured guide to work from instead of starting from a blank page.
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Yes, and most people who complete a themed memorial planning guide do exactly that, often around a life milestone rather than a crisis. We've written a full piece on why that timing matters, documenting your wishes, theme, and favorite details now so your family isn't left guessing later.
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