A Veterans Day guide to end-of-life planning: oral history, burial benefits, military honors, and the tools to keep it all in one place.
Ask anyone who has lost a veteran parent or grandparent what they wish they'd done differently, and you'll hear some version of the same answer. "I never asked him about it." Or, "She told that story once at Thanksgiving, and nobody wrote it down."
Then comes the second wave. Digging through a shoebox for the DD-214. The funeral home asking if Dad wanted military honors, and everyone looking at each other. A gun safe with no list of what's inside or who's supposed to get it.
None of that happens because families don't care. It happens because nobody wants to be the one to bring it up. Talking about death can feel like inviting it.
Veterans Day is Wednesday, November 11, 2026, and it gives you an easier way in. Don't start with the funeral. Start with the story.
Quick answer: End-of-life planning for veterans comes down to five steps. Record their story through a free oral history program. Find the DD-214. Apply for VA pre-need burial eligibility. Write down whether they want military funeral honors. Then keep every document and wish in one place your family can find. Planned with Purpose has free checklists and forms to get started, plus 15% off planning tools with code MILITARY15.
Why the Story Comes First
When you sit down and ask a veteran where they were stationed, what basic training was really like, or who they still think about from their unit, something happens. You're already doing end-of-life planning. You just aren't calling it that.
You find out which branch they want honored. Which song still gets them. Which buddies should get a phone call someday. Whether they want Taps and a folded flag, or something quieter.
The hard conversation gets easier because it isn't a hard conversation anymore. It's a good afternoon. The paperwork can follow it.
How to Record a Veteran's Oral History for Free
Texas Veterans: The Voices of Veterans Oral History Program
The Texas General Land Office runs Voices of Veterans through the Texas Veterans Land Board. It records the stories of Texas veterans from every branch, covering their time in service and their lives after coming home.
Here's how it works:
The veteran must live in Texas at the time of the interview.
Interviews happen by phone or in person, and they usually run one to two hours.
Each story is archived permanently in the Office of Veterans Records at the General Land Office, alongside historic Texas documents.
The veteran receives an audio file of their story, plus a letter and a signed certificate from the Texas Land Commissioner. Stories are also published on VoicesofVeterans.org.
To sign up, fill out the Share Your Story form, call the Veterans Land Board at 512-475-1248, or email voicesofveterans@glo.texas.gov. A program coordinator will reach out to schedule.
One tip: if you send a copy of the DD-214, black out the Social Security number and date of birth first. The program asks for this.
The program has recorded more than 600 stories so far. Your veteran's could be next.
Every Other State: The Library of Congress Veterans History Project
Not in Texas? Congress created the Veterans History Project in 2000 to collect first-person stories from U.S. veterans and keep them at the Library of Congress.
Veterans from any branch who served at any point since World War I can take part. They don't need to have seen combat.
Family members and friends can do the interview, and veterans can record themselves.
Start with the free field kit at loc.gov/vets. It has interview questions and submission rules.
Questions: call 888-371-5848 or email vohp@loc.gov.
Six Questions to Start the Conversation
You don't need a script. These get people talking:
Why did you join, and how did your family feel about it?
What do you remember about your first week?
Where were you stationed, and what was a normal day like?
Who do you still think about from those years?
What was the hardest part about coming home?
What do you want your grandkids to know about your service?
Record it on your phone even if you're also submitting to a program. Keep a copy for the family.
The DD-214: the One Document Your Family Can't Plan Without
The DD-214 is the veteran's discharge record. The VA uses it to confirm burial eligibility, and funeral homes use it to request military honors. If your family can't find it, everything slows down.
How to get a copy:
milConnect: Veterans can request it online through the Department of Defense milConnect site.
National Archives: Use the eVetRecs online tool, or mail or fax Standard Form 180 to the National Personnel Records Center.
For a veteran who has died: Next of kin (spouse, parent, child or sibling) can request records through the National Archives.
Once you have it, make two copies. One goes in the planning binder. One goes to whoever will handle the arrangements.
VA Burial Benefits: What Your Veteran has Already Earned
Many families don't know what the VA burial benefits include until they're sitting in a funeral home. Here's the short version.
Burial in a VA national cemetery. Eligible veterans, service members and some family members can be buried in a VA national cemetery.
Pre-need eligibility. Veterans can find out now, while they're living, whether they qualify for burial in a VA national cemetery. Apply online at VA.gov or use VA Form 40-10007. You'll get a decision letter your family can use later. It doesn't lock you into a specific cemetery, and no one should ever charge you to file it.
Headstones, markers and medallions. The VA provides these, along with a Presidential Memorial Certificate.
Burial allowance. For deaths on or after October 1, 2025, the VA pays up to $2,000 for a service-connected death. For a non-service-connected death, eligible families can receive up to $1,002 toward burial costs and a separate $1,002 plot or interment allowance. The VA updates these amounts every October 1. Non-service-connected claims generally need to be filed within two years of burial.
Veteran Legacy Memorial. An online memorial page where family and friends can leave tributes.
Useful numbers: National Cemetery Scheduling Office, 800-535-1117. VA benefits hotline, 800-827-1000.
How to Arrange Military Funeral Honors
Military funeral honors are a final thank-you from the country. For an eligible veteran, the honor guard includes at least two members of the Armed Forces, with at least one from the veteran's own branch. They play Taps, fold the American flag and present it to the next of kin.
The funeral director usually makes the request. Your job is simpler: write down now whether your veteran wants honors, and keep the DD-214 where the funeral director can get it.
Don't Forget the Firearms
This one gets skipped a lot, and it causes real trouble. If your veteran owns firearms, the family needs to know:
Make, model, caliber and serial number for each one
Where they're stored, and where the keys or safe codes are
Whether any are federally registered or held in a trust
Who should receive each one
Transfer rules vary by state, and some items need extra federal paperwork. Talk to an estate attorney about those. For the inventory itself, the free Firearm Asset Portfolio walks you through every field.
Plan a Memorial That Sounds Like Them
A veteran's memorial should feel like their service, not a generic service with a flag added at the end.
The Military Memorial Planning Guide has themes for the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force and Coast Guard. It covers invitations, location ideas, music playlist suggestions, tribute ideas and guest favors. It also comes with an editable recipe card keepsake, so a family recipe and a photo can be shared at the gathering.
When it's time to write the obituary and grief makes the blank page impossible, the free obituary ChatGPT prompt gives you a starting draft from the details you enter.
Take Your Veteran to Dinner, and Bring Your Phone
Here's a low-pressure way to start the interview: take your veteran to dinner.
On Veterans Day, Wednesday, November 11, from 4 PM to close, Perry's Steakhouse & Grille is offering U.S. active and former military a choice of two dine-in offers. The first is a free Dinner-Cut Pork Chop when a guest orders a full-priced dinner entrée. Veterans dining alone or with other veterans get the pork chop at half off. The second is the three-course Military Menu for $39. It's one or the other, not both. Reservations are required, and bring a military ID or an official record of service. Parties of six or more get an automatic 18% operations charge.
Can't make it on the 11th? Perry's Military Menu runs all year: three courses for $39, dine-in, daily before 6 PM, for active and former military with a valid military ID. You'll need a reservation, and it isn't offered on promotional holidays. Details can vary by location, so check with your local Perry's.
Order dessert. Hit record. Ask question number one.
More Veterans Day free meals on Wednesday, Nov. 11
Perry's isn't the only table in town. These sit-down restaurants have posted 2026 Veterans Day offers. A booth and a free meal make a good setting for a long conversation.
Bonefish Grill: A free Bang Bang Shrimp entrée and a nonalcoholic drink for veterans and active duty. Military families are included too, so the whole table can come.
Ruby Tuesday: A free Everyday Fresh Meal from any price tier, with The Garden Bar and a bottomless drink, worth up to $17.99. Veterans, retirees, active duty and Reserve. Dine-in at participating locations.
Red Lobster: A free Shrimp & Chips meal for veterans, active duty and reservists. Dine-in.
Applebee's: A free entrée from a special Veterans Day menu, plus a $5 Bounce Back Card for a later visit. Active duty, veterans, Reserve and National Guard. Dine-in, and drinks and tip aren't included.
Chili's: A free entrée: Chicken Crispers, Chicken Bacon Ranch Quesadillas, the Oldtimer Burger with Cheese, or Soup & House Salad. Dine-in at participating locations, and drinks and tip aren't included.
Bob Evans: A free meal from a special Veterans Day menu. Dine-in.
Golden Corral: A free buffet and drink at its Military Appreciation Night, 4 p.m. to close. Dine-in.
Denny's: A free Original Grand Slam from 5 a.m. to noon, if your veteran is a breakfast talker. Dine-in.
In Texas: Cotton Patch Cafe has a free Chicken Fried Steak or Chicken Fried Chicken entrée (dine-in, military ID), and Torchy's Tacos has a free taco and drink (in-store, proof of service).
Almost every offer asks for proof of service, such as a military ID, a VA ID card or a copy of the DD-214. That's one more reason to find the DD-214 this week. Most deals are at participating locations only and can change, so call ahead. The VA keeps a longer list in its 2026 Veterans Day discounts and free meals roundup.
Want a quieter table after the holiday rush? Bonefish Grill also offers military guests 10% off every day of the year, and Perry's Military Menu runs year-round.
Order dessert. Hit record. Ask question number one.
Put it All in One Place
The stories, the DD-214, the benefit letters, the firearm list, the music they want played. None of it helps your family if it's scattered across three drawers and someone's email.
Free tools to start today:
Free End-of-Life & Funeral Planning Checklist: your first steps, from essential contacts to funeral preferences.
Free Asset Inventory Forms: editable Firearm and Jewelry Asset Portfolio forms.
Free Obituary ChatGPT Prompt: a starting draft when you need one.
Planning tools that keep it organized:
End-of-Life Planning Bundle: four editable PDFs. A 29-page Funeral Planning Questionnaire, a Financial Assets Form, a Personal Property Assets Form, and a 13-page Family History Questionnaire (a natural home for the oral history notes).
End-of-Life Planner Binder: a 2-inch binder with 10 tabs and sheet protectors, personalized with your name on the cover and spine. Made in the USA.
Military Memorial Planning Guide: branch-themed memorial planning with a recipe card keepsake.
Veterans, active-duty service members and military families get 15% off with code MILITARY15. The code doesn't expire, and right now it works on top of the 40% off sale.
Your Veterans Day Weekend plan
You don't have to do this all at once. Pick one or two this weekend.
Download the free planning checklist.
Find the DD-214, or request a copy.
Sign up for Voices of Veterans (Texas) or download the Veterans History Project field kit.
Ask the six questions and record the answers.
Apply for VA pre-need burial eligibility.
Write down whether they want military funeral honors.
Fill out the firearm inventory.
Put all of it in one binder and tell the family where it lives.
Frequently asked questions
What is end-of-life planning for veterans?
It's regular end-of-life planning plus the benefits and honors veterans earned. That means locating the DD-214, checking VA burial eligibility, deciding on military funeral honors, and recording the veteran's service story, along with the usual will, finances and funeral wishes.
How can I record my veteran's story for free?
Texas residents can sign up for the Voices of Veterans Oral History Program through the Texas General Land Office. Veterans in any state can use the Library of Congress Veterans History Project. Both are free and archive the story permanently.
Does the VA pay for a veteran's funeral?
The VA helps, but usually doesn't cover the whole cost. For deaths on or after October 1, 2025, the burial allowance is up to $2,000 for a service-connected death, and up to $1,002 plus a $1,002 plot allowance for an eligible non-service-connected death. Burial in a national cemetery, a headstone or marker, and a Presidential Memorial Certificate are also available to eligible veterans.
How do I request military funeral honors?
Ask the funeral director. They request the honor guard for you. Have the veteran's DD-214 ready, since it shows eligibility.
How do I get a copy of a deceased veteran's DD-214?
Next of kin can request it from the National Archives online through eVetRecs, or by mailing or faxing Standard Form 180 to the National Personnel Records Center.
Can a veteran apply for VA burial eligibility before they die?
Yes. It's called a pre-need eligibility determination. Apply online at VA.gov or with VA Form 40-10007. The decision letter makes things faster for the family later.
Is there a military discount on end-of-life planning tools?
Yes. Planned with Purpose offers veterans, active-duty service members and military families 15% off with code MILITARY15. The code doesn't expire and works with current sales.
The Last Thing They Get to Give
You don't have to finish all of this by Veterans Day. You just have to start.
Ask one question. Write down the answer. That page becomes the first page of the binder.
And someday, when your family opens it, they won't be guessing. They'll have the DD-214 where it should be, the song they wanted, the names of the people to call, and a recording of a voice they'll want to hear again.
That's the last gift a veteran gets to give: not leaving the people they love to figure it out alone. Start the story this Veterans Day. Grab the free checklist plus, use MILITARY15 when you're ready to put it all in one place.
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